Hands-Free!

It was my very first day on the job as a recruit firefighter and we had just spent the first half of the day doing a bunch of apparently necessary orientation and paperwork. There I was, sitting on a parking stone (or whatever you call those things that you put your tires against when you park) tentatively eating a hearty sandwich while looking up into the sunny sky, about to live out a real-life object lesson that I am only now finally beginning to learn.

We learned that we would spend the second half of the day doing the “Confidence Climb.” The uninitiated among us had learned from the sages among us just what that meant, that we would be required to strap on a ladder belt, climb to the top of a 110-foot aerial ladder, hook the belt onto one of the top rungs and then let go our hands and lean back.

It’s one thing to know cognitively what that means but is something else entirely to sit on a parking stone with your mouth full of sandwich and watch Ladder 1 drive into your dining room and set up that very tall aerial. They parked that 1988 Thibault right in the middle of the Training Center parking lot, put down the outriggers, raised and rotated the aerial and then slowly and dramatically extended the tip up as far as it could go. I will just say that 110 feet didn’t look nearly as tall in my head as it did from that parking stone.

Yes, we all made the climb. When it was my turn, I donned my crispy, new gear, strapped on the ladder belt and began my ascent. I remember being impressed with how sturdy that steel ladder felt as I climbed, one rung after another. I was also impressed with the fact that my compadres below me were becoming smaller with each rung. When I reached the top, I hooked the huge carabiner onto the rung and looked around. What a view!

There is nothing terribly exciting about seeing the Tacoma tide flats, but once I let go and leaned back as instructed, I was focused far less on the view and much more on my safety gear. The ladder had already proven itself capable of holding my weight, so now my attention was on the ladder belt. It all came down to that. Would that thick leather belt and its heavy carabiner keep me tethered to that strong ladder?

This traditional and aptly named drill has less to do with determining who would be brave enough to go hands-free at the top than it does with giving new recruits the opportunity to experience for themselves what is true regardless, that the equipment can be trusted and that the only way to go up there and experience what they had become firefighters to do, was to trust that ladder belt and to go hands-free.

It felt uncomfortable and seemed unnatural at first to release my grip, but this was precisely the point of the ladder belt: to tether me to the ladder and free me up to do what I was there to do.

But imagine, if an instructor on the ground had told me, “Here’s your belt. Strap it on, climb that ladder with confidence. When you get up there, hook it on. It will hold you. But keep your hands securely gripped to the rung!”

As preposterous as that would have been, you may have similarly come to believe, erroneously, that the Christian walk is about strapping on and working hard to hold on, lest you fall. I have mentioned before that there are various ways that we come to believe that although Jesus saves us by His grace and tethers us to the Father (like the belt to the ladder) and even that He will not let us go… that the Christian walk is now about learning to behave as if we must maintain that grip on the Father.

It really makes no sense when you articulate it, but the idea is rampant that we have been saved completely based on the merits of Jesus’ work on the cross, yet somehow, after being saved, we are now responsible to work as if our performance is necessary to maintain relationship with God. If I couldn’t be good enough to earn my salvation to begin with, I therefore can’t be bad enough to lose it. Similarly, if I couldn’t earn relationship with Him, how is it that I must work to keep it? When we feel we must work to maintain either of those, we are insisting on keeping a firm grip on the rung for fear of losing them. We are not trusting Jesus to hold us secure in both our salvation and our right relationship with God.

So, what is involved in letting go? What it comes down to is this: do you trust the belt, or don’t you? What is at stake here is not your salvation. At stake is the freedom that is yours, that you were saved to enjoy. “It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1) In other words, you were saved to live hands-free. Let go of the rung!

What does one have to do in order to live free? Well, you already are free, actually. You just need to believe it. Believe that when Jesus declared, “It is finished,” that it truly was finished.

Believe that God’s desire for intimacy with you has existed forever. He has wanted you forever, so much so, that even though your sin separated you by an unbridgeable chasm, Jesus gave it all to get you back. It was His incredible kindness, His grace, that drew you in and led you to turn to Him for salvation. God does not now stand there with arms folded and brow furrowed each time you screw up. Jesus died precisely to take His anger and condemnation away once and for all. He always has and still does want intimacy with you. Believe it.

Believe that He forgave you for all your sins: past, present and future. Nothing you can ever do can affect your relationship with Him. That is precisely why Jesus died. To say that He forgave you, but now you have to make things right with Him when you sin is to diminish the power of the forgiveness that He has granted you. Believe it.

Believe that you are not required to do anything for God beyond what Jesus has done for you. When you trusted Him to save you, you accepted that He has done all that is required of you before God. Sure, do good because it is best for you and it is best for those around you. But God does not need your good behavior. Believe it.

Similarly, believe that He did not die for you to make you perfect. The end goal was not to make you perfect. The end goal was to make right what was screwed up in the Garden, to restore the relationship with God that was lost when Adam sinned. The goal was not to make you perfect then, and it isn’t now. The goal is an intimate relationship with you. He has achieved that for you. Believe it.

Clearly, there is much, much more to this gospel. In her book, “Discovering God’s Grace in Depression,” my wife, Heidi, goes to great length discussing what she calls the “Already Dones” of the gospel. These are bedrock truths that, once believed, released her to live in the freedom that Jesus had already given her.

It seems completely unnatural to let go. It seems quite uncomfortable at first. It seems dangerous, even. But this is where freedom is enjoyed. In fact, Paul says in Galatians 2:21 that (I am paraphrasing here), “if I am living my Christian life trying to do good in order to maintain my relationship with God, then Jesus died for no reason. I didn’t need Him to do what I am working on earning myself.”

In other words, if I am insistent on maintaining my grip on the rung, then I don’t need the ladder belt! The tendency to doubt the finished work of Jesus in our lives is something that we each deal with. But like a prominent man once told Jesus, “I believe. Help my unbelief!” And Jesus is well aware of our struggle with disbelief. The gospel is ridiculously simple, yet its height and breadth is so vast, it seems way too good to be true, especially when we have spent a lifetime believing otherwise.

Once you trusted Jesus to save you, He secured for you a perfect, unchanging relationship with the Father. It is as easy as simply believing Him and enjoying Him.

Now, it is one thing to know something cognitively, but not experientially. I was reminded this week of how prevalent it is even for theologians and preachers to know, for example, the grace of God theologically. They can support it biblically and give great support as to how it all works, but it is quite hard to see grace in their lives. In other words, they are much like the Pharisees of old. They may believe in grace cognitively, but it doesn’t seem to show itself in their lives. That sounds harsh, but I don’t mean it to be. I have been there and am always on the brink of being there again.

So, if we are made for this intimacy with God, how do I achieve that? The gospel is not a formula; it is a gift. Belief doesn’t come through a how-to guide. Relationship does not happen based on bullet points so I do not want to risk giving a formula, as if I even have one.

I will say this, however. Once you begin to believe His kindness to you, simply meditate on Him and let Him continue to be kind to you; this will draw you into falling more and more in love with Him. See that He desires intimate relationship with you and watch for His many acts of grace, mercy, compassion and other kindnesses toward you. His kindness led you to go to Him for salvation. Let those same kindnesses continue to woo you to Him and show you His heart.

Watch for them in His Word, in music, in the lives of others, in the words of others and in the quiet moments when He speaks to you, however He chooses to do that. You may even find great intimacy as you pour out your heart to Him in prayer, both in the good times and the bad. Tell Him all that you are thinking. Lament. Praise. Cry. Laugh. But do it all with Him. That is intimacy.

What I can say to you is this: just let go of trying so hard to create that intimacy and just believe it when He tells you in any given moment, “It is finished.”

If, when you are done reading this blog, you find yourself not knowing what to do next, just tell Him, as often as you need to, that you don’t know what to do next but that you do want HIM. Then, when He tells you something through His Word, through music, through the words of another or as you pray, just believe Him, however that looks.

Lastly, seek Him! Don’t seek formulas, or how-tos or look for examples or heroes. God says that those who seek Him, will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). It is the heart of God to be found by His people. Believe it.

He will hold onto you; He will not let you go! He will meet you in that place where you are seeking Him. He is your trustworthy and strong ladder belt. Go hands-free!

Seek God. Don’t seek formulas or how-tos or look for examples or heroes. God says that those who seek Him, will find Him. It is the heart of God to be found by His people. Believe it.

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